Good morning my lovelies, how nice and refreshing it is to finally have the feeling that spring may well be on its way. Not only do we fleetingly see clumps of snowdrops when we sit in traffic jams or see tubs of crocus’s in the supermarket but today there is a beautifully clear blue sky and a hint of sunshine, this always makes us feel good and hopefully people will start to be dragged out of the dull-drums and be a little happier. We all need some form of cheering up from time to time and although we can each look forward to a parcel or two from the delivery Amazon driver when we have spent too much online shopping, but I don’t think you get enough of a dopamine hit from buying a new pair of jeans than you can get from the adrenaline rush you that you have from being intimate with someone, especially on a cold Monday morning. Well I don’t think you can, maybe more people should try it and then there would be fewer miserable-ites on the road!!

I had to endure “wedding dress” shopping over the weekend! Before you get your knickers in a twist and scream ‘Nooooo don’t do it’ or have gasps of exclamation, it was not for me. So off we tootled, all four of us, first stopping for caffeine and cake supplies then we followed the sat nav into the middle of nowhere to this “boutique” of sorts, well it was a private boutique upstairs in this ladies house. Actually that sounds rather boring, she lived in a beautiful rural converted barn complex of about six houses which was absolutely gorgeous, with underfloor heating under the proper stone floor and even had random pheasants roaming in the back garden, it was truly idillic and the lady was so lovely we felt like we had known her forever, I wouldn’t even be surprised if she appears at the wedding, we were that friendly by the end of the session. So we all sat there ready to be paraded in front of trying to look impressed and not look too bored. I had already had my instructions that I should be extremely choosy in what descriptive words I used and that I was under no circumstances to be brutally critical or too honest but this I find impossible to do as people can see any distain on my face as I can’t engage how that appears, it just happens naturally before my brain engages. So each dress I just said “mmmm that looks lovely”! Well each one was lovely just not especially lovely on her, in my opinion. So we nit picked each dress conscious of the words we used in order to not be too critical and be suggestion-able in different aspects, the sleeves were nice on this one and the satin was nice on the other but no dress had that “wow” factor well not until she came out in the last one. This had everything and she did look like a wannabe Cinderella without the spray tan. I did nearly shed a tear I’m not going to lie. It needs tweaking before the big day and will be with all the other paraphernalia, it will look beautiful, she will look beautiful.

However as you can tell there is a but, well it’s not really a but .. but I wish I had not been privy to witnessing the dress she chose as i feel it has been a bit of a spoiler for me. I know I should be honoured to be part of the selection committee and I am proud that I saw her dressed in a princess gown but in another way I feel sad because everyone else will get the wow factor and I will already know what dress she chose looks like. Also I feel a little pang of sadness that my mom isn’t here to see this. It has been almost 30 years to the day since I lost my mom and February is always a sad month only due to my recollections of the time leading up to that unhappy day but I hope she is somewhere warm looking down on us

I have to be very careful what words I write in my bloglets as certain words get me banned but I hope you get the gist of what I am waffling on about. But another random thought, why is it we always hypothetically look upwards when we think of people when they have “gone”? Yes I know the ‘heaven and hell’ analogy but why we do it? When it comes to my time I am rather inclined to request I go downwards only because I hate heights and it will be a warmer climate down there!!